To Baha'is, a happy family life is extremely
important. It helps to produce happy, healthy
individuals and it is the basis of a healthy sodety.
Baha'i family life is based upon Baha'i marriage.
Both are based on a spiritual attitude and values.
"The true marriage of Baha'is is this, that husband
and wife should be united both physically and
spiritually, that they may ever improve the spiritual
life of each other, and may enjoy everlasting unity
throughout all the worlds of God."
The first purpose of marriage is this spiritual companionship.
The second purpose is the rearing
of children in the spiritual and loving atmosphere
of this kind of marriage.
Baha'i parents seek to do everything they can to
bring up their children in the love of God, to be of
good character and to acquire knowledge which is
useful, so that they can become healthy, happy and
useful members of society. The raising of children
is a very important and difficult task and a great
responsibility. They will need to devote
considerable time to the children's upbringing and
some other activities will probably need to be
sacrificed. "... know ye in God's sight, the best of all
ways to worship Him is to educate the children and train
them in all the perfections of humankind..."
Due to the laws of nature, the mother generally
has had a particular responsibility for the
rearing of the children in the early part of then-
lives, during which time the father has financial
responsibility for his family, but there is no
reason why roles cannot be reversed or
responsibilities shared. It is up to the couple to
arrange their lives as they think best. The
important thing is that the children receive the
love and attention they need to develop happily
in mind, body and spirit.
TRAINING
Baha'i parents must ensure that their children
learn about all the religions of the world.
Rather than being indoctrinated with their
parents' beliefs, the children are taught to
investigate truth for themselves. Children are
also taught to recognise the value of the male
and female factors in the balance of life. This
needs to be illustrated in the relationship of
the parents to one another.
Children are encouraged to associate with
people of all races and religions and learn to
appreciate the different cultures and the
contributions different people have to make.
They should learn to respect the ideas of
others and to have open minds.
The children are taught to regard themselves
as citizens of the world.
Above all, parents try to show their children
what is right and how to behave by the
example of their own lives. "A real son is such
a one as hath branched from the spiritual part of
man."
RIGHTS AND DUTIES
Each member of the family has certain rights
which must be respected by the other
members of the family, and each has certain
duties to the others.
"The integrity of the family bond must be
constantly considered and the rights of the
individual members must not be transgressed.
The rights of the son, the father, the mother, none
of them must be transgressed, none of them must
be arbitrary."
Just as: "... it is the duty of parents to perfectly
and thoroughly train their children", so it is the
duty of children to respect their parents:
"Say, 0 My people! Show honour to your parents
... Beware lest ye commit that which would sadden
the hearts of your fathers and mothers."
As they grow older, children should begin to
appreciate the time and trouble which has
been spent on them. One way in which they
can repay that love and care is by
remembering their parents in their prayers:
"It is seemly that the servant should, after each
prayer, supplicate God to bestow mercy and
forgiveness upon his parents."
RESOLVING PROBLEMS
Saying prayers together as a family each day
will help to build and maintain the unity of
the family on a spiritual basis.
When a problem does occur or a decision
needs to be made, members of the family
should pray about it, individually and
together, so that a solution may be found.
The members of the family should also
consult together in order to solve their
problems or make their decisions.
This includes young children who should be
taught from an early age the value of
consultation.
"Family consultation, employing full and frank
discussion, and animated by awareness of the need
for moderation and balance, can be the panacea for
domestic conflict."
UNITY
Where a whole family are Baha'is they will
share a common aim and set of values and it
should be easier to maintain unity in the
home. But where there are differences of
religion this should not be allowed to cause
disunity in the family.
If we look carefully at the scriptures of each
religion, we will find that the essence of their
teachings is the same. The followers of each
religion wish to serve God and humanity, so
really they should have a common aim.
"The religion of God is for love and unity; make it
not the cause of enmity and dissension."
For instance, if one member of a family is a
Baha'i and others are not, this may cause
problems. If a parent is a Baha'i, he or she
should remember: "service to the Cause should
not produce neglect of the family."
And if a son or daughter is a Baha'i and the
parents are not, this is the advice:
"Should anyone give you a choice between the
opportunity to render a service to Me and a
service to them, choose ye to serve them, and let
such service be a path leading you to Me."
Baha'is believe that everyone has the right to
their own beliefs. They also have the right to
practise their religion, but not to the extent
that it causes disunity and unhappiness to
others. Some sacrifices may have to be made,
even if only temporarily:
"It is one of the essential teachings of the Faith
that unity should be maintained in the home."
THE EFFECT OF A HAPPY HOME
"If love and agreement are manifest in a single
family, that family will become illumined and
spiritual..."
"Note ye how easily, where unity existeth in a
given family, the affairs of that family are
conducted; what progress the members of that
family make, how they prosper in the world, their
concerns are in order, they enjoy comfort and
tranquillity, they are secure, their position is
assured, they come to be envied by all."
"Consider the harmful effect of discord and
dissension in a family; then reflect upon the
favours and blessings which descend upon the
family when unity exists among its various
members. What incalculable benefits and
blessings would descend upon the great human
family if unity and brotherhood were established!"